[NOVEL] The Ex Vows by Jessica Joyce

Backlog #8

DNF-ed novel. But I still want to express my opinion on why I DNF-ed it

Georgia Woodward lives by her lists, none more so than the one about her ex, Eli Mora. It’s full of the ironclad dos and don’ts they’ve been following since she returned to the Bay Area after their cataclysmic breakup five years ago. 

 

With the wedding of their mutual best friend, Adam, looming, and them about to step into their roles as best woman and man, Georgia’s never needed it more. She refuses to threaten their tight-knit friend group with her messy—and still very present—feelings. The rules on that list will keep her cool, calm, and compartmentalized. 

 

What’s not on her list? Eli arriving from New York with a new rule-breaking attitude or the all-inclusive venue burning to the ground, leaving the bride and groom in dire straits. Nor does she anticipate Adam asking her and Eli to help him make a miracle happen. Together.

 

As Georgia and Eli rush up to Napa Valley to pull off the perfect wedding, their old chemistry comes back in technicolor. Somewhere between cake tastings gone wrong, disastrous DJ auditions, and Eli’s heated attention, Georgia starts recognizing the man she fell in love with before. And if she lets herself break her rules, she might find what they’re building isn’t the something old that ruined them—it’s a chance at something new.

Never trust reviews.

And I saw this in recommended by a YouTuber with quite a bit of following. At that time I had no idea they liked Magnolia Parks (novel I DNF-ed after 1st chapter because it felt repulsive).

All in all, you do not trust reviews, you can have enough followers, but it means nothing. your preferences are your preferences.

I DNF-ed the book because it was so not my cup of tea, not to mention it was prety boring and the conflict did not feel like a conflict at all.

I did not like FMC from the start, listening to her "purring" for being praised I was like - girl, calm down. I'm not the one who will like to read about people pleasers, I may support not being the one up to conflicts, but I won't go out of my way just to please people. Like for what? Few good words. If you do well you deserve those good words and if someone is shit, well, not destiny between you then.

But when I reached the part where the "reason" for the break-up was revealed I lost it.

Relationship is not always sunshine, but what amazed me is that when her partner was going through the toughest period of time she did not stick around.

Maybe it is a stretch to say that I dislike when people think their partner can get at least a bit of attention when they work themselves to the bone. You know sometimes your partner just wants to have some safe space, just want to watch the ceiling for hours. Let's wait for the moment when they come out of their stupor and then they can give you attention you need.

And we should be ready that this period may take quite some time, it's not a day or two, or week or two.

This is what the situation looked like to me, that Eli was too busy and too tired and Georgia started to feel neglected. Just from description I felt srry for Eli actually. I just know people and couples where the husband works more, works himself to the bone to provide for his family, but less working wife can start nagging about no time for her etc. I just think - the way he works himself to the bone isn't showcasing his care for you? It's not fancy words, but it's stability.

For Georgia she met Eli at a young age, what high school, what university, then moving in together and working. basically they never had a period where they were not together or not lovey-dovey I suppose. SO LIFE hit her so hard. If you want to be together you should navigate the hard parts too.

Maybe there is more to the story, but I did not bother to continue, I stopped at 23%.

Unlike the relationship troubles which weren't enough to be called troubles to me, we have the wedding part.

Tbh again I saw no trouble in that. I mean the situation indeed felt melodramatic, but if two people want to be together they would go for any ceremony, maybe will compensate each other later with something grander.

But no the thing is they want to have a bigger wedding and they want it now since the soon-to-be-wife is pregnant.

Of course no one can go to the venue and both Georgia and Eli volunteer to do it.

Georgia with her need to stick to her friends of course want to take it upon herself. Eli wants to be present now while he was busy with work for so long and neglected their friendship.

I've read some spoilers about it that they just resume the relationship.

But funnily eough I stopped at 23% and felt that the plot if there is any moves at a snail's speed.

Oh yeah, another part of Georgia that I wanted to roll my eyes at.

Why did she feel like she's just graduated? She does not read as a mature person to me. because she clings to all her friendships and relationships and in her own head it feels so dramatic as if they'll never see each other again.

Relationships change, okay. If sh had few more friendships she'd know that when your bffs marry or have a partner, they will have their own life and you will become a third wheel. Doesn't mean you can't continue to be friends, it's just that dynamics and prioroties change. it's not the end of the world. Some relationships may last long enough. I say this as a person who has people who contact me rarely, but we still have soft feelings for each other, wish each other only the best and we've known each other for more than 10 years.

Especially if you live away from each other. Georgia is being transferred if she'd like to, but honestly she feels like she wants to build a life around her friends instead of her own.

Of course she will have her own happy ending, otherwise this book wouldn't have been written, but I didn't click with any of it. Maybe I was expecting more, but got this instead. Maybe there is redeeming part about Georgia, but I don't care to find out.

RATE: DNF.

[Historical Romance] Lady Derring takes a lover by Julie Anne Long

Backlog #7

I've read a ton of Historical Romance, but I never came across Julie Anne Long before. You could say that thanks to recs on Goodreads I kept seeing their name when I added my faves to the collection. So I decided to check it out (especially the ratings felt quite high in the HR category).

And the series called Palace of Rogues called out to me.

Who knew I will be so disappointed.

(tbh an ugly cover, I like the style of covers like novels from 80'-90' the most or more vague and artsy instead of inaccurate dresses, modern-looking people and pictures too crisp and unnatural like they glaringly scream "I'm a Photoshop collage")

A mistress. A mountain of debt. A mysterious wreck of a building.

Delilah Swanpoole, Countess of Derring, learns the hard way that her husband, “Dear Dull Derring,” is a lot more interesting—and perfidious—dead than alive. It’s a devil of an inheritance, but in the grand ruins of the one building Derring left her, are the seeds of her liberation. And she vows never again to place herself at the mercy of a man.

But battle-hardened Captain Tristan Hardy is nothing if not merciless. When the charismatic naval hero tracks a notorious smuggler to a London boarding house known as the Rogue’s Palace, seducing the beautiful, blue-blooded proprietress to get his man seems like a small sacrifice.

They both believe love is a myth. But a desire beyond reason threatens to destroy the armor around their hearts. Now a shattering decision looms: Will Tristan betray his own code of honor…or choose a love that might be the truest thing he’s ever known?

The Palace of Rogues. Book 1

I WAS SO BORED.

I can't stress enough how bored I was by reading it. I think counting ants on the ground is more thrilling than this.

And I actually felt like I will be able to read it, since the beginning was so out of ordinary. Lady Derring meets the mistress of her husband, they're both in desperate situation and decide on their venture - boarding house.

Next thing is a grand and crazy plan on how to survive - remodel the building, having their own set of rules of who to allow inside (so this place will become a home for others)

But there is a secret about this building.

Basically it was a whore house in the past, now Dilalah wants it to become a borading house near the docks. They indeed renovated it quite a bit and were waiting for people to come over. But for some reason some bad rumors started spreading so people won't go there at all. Only few people became residents and one of them is our MMC and Captain Hardy.

Capain Hardy was cracking down smuggling all this time and one of the last cases before he plans to retire is to follow the lead on smuggled cigars. One of the leads is - Lady Derring, since the smuggling is connected to her late husband.

So we have the initial and potential conflict of the novel, he came with agenda, but managed to fall in love (about this "love" later).

But the entire novel is so boring and uneventful that it hurt. Not to mention that both characters felt kinda blind to obvious presence of cross-dressing men in the vicinity. And author doesn't make it a secret that something is very odd about two "sisters" who barely speak, look at you etc.

You would think there will be some sort of intrigue or anything else, but no.

They spent it felt quite some time just thinking of following those two "sisters" and figuring out that they're smugglers and /spoilers/ the Palace of Rogues has a secret passage, you could get there through one of the rooms, but it was occupied by unknown person from the very beginning, both smugglers wanted to trespass but never succeeded, the other part of the passage is in the neighboring stables, the problem was that there is a door between Palace and stables which was not only locked but blocked by crates, so they couldn't take things out without disturbance.

But what seemed illogical is that smugglers (according to Hardy) could scare the residents into obedience and just take the load away, but they never did it and waited until Hardy became a resident as well. Well, of course because Hardy was there and they knew his identity they never made a big move.

Anyway most part of the novel is how Delilah and Hardy just danced around each other, uneventful smuggling case which was so boring it was maddening.

This blindness to recognize to cross-dressing men who obviously looked rough dropped a shadow on Hardy's perfect image.

As for Delilah... well she is a kind person, but unlike kind she is also kinda naive and lacked self-preservance. Like the case with late-night visitor, if it wasn't for Hardy she would be assaulted. I mean no money are worth it, when she obviously had a gut feeling there was something odd about the man.

Naive because she believed in any story told, agan being blind to cross-dressing men (I'm surprised her more experienced partner, her husband's mistress did not recognize it as well) who also told her their own fairy tale how and why they need a shelter. It's not bad being kind, but she felt more stupid.

Note: find it ironic since Derring, sounds like "daring", but there is only one aspect in which Dililah is daring, wanting to get laid.

The "love" felt more like "lust". In historical romance it's sometimes hard to judge because there is an attraction almost from the first time people see each other, here it felt the same, the two noticed each other. But honestly it felt more like physical attraction than anything else and stayed like that for quite some time. All in all I did not buy it.

The only good part is that indeed few of the residents elt liek at home during this time despite the silly rules, on the contrary it allowed them to bond. Plus thery novel-y part about a couple who both escaped engagement and travelled to this place but eventually escaped to Gretna Green to marry.

This book made me want to DNF the rest of the series. I may try to read the second book, because it is about the mistress (she has ridiculous last name) and the mysterious resident that checked in first but never appeared.

RATE: 2/5. How people find it so appealing is above me.

[NOVEL] Hopeless by Elsie Silver

Backlog #6

I never mentioned it before but I noticed the presence of Harvey Eaton in all the books, it's not much, but that old man is my favorite, no wonder he even got his own extra episodes.

This book is about Beau Eaton and Bailey Jensen.

In Powerless we know that Beau was missing in action, but by the end of the book he is found. In Reckless he returned to the family after recuperating and he now is retired. Bearing severe burns on his feet. Winter is mentioned too because she helped him and she did not pamper him.

But now Beau is lost to what to do with his life in this small town, to others he is a hero, but he does not think of himself like that.

But then he goes to the bar where Bailey Jensen works and somehow the presence of this girl who does not consider him anything special helps him find inner peace he needed so much.

Beau Eaton is the town prince, a handsome military hero with a tortured past.

I’m the outcast bartender, a shy girl from the wrong side of the tracks.

He’s thirty-five and all man, and I’m twenty-two and all… virgin.

He’s also my fiancé. Correction: my fake fiancé.

We start out as a bet. He doesn’t believe that anyone holds my last name against me. So he offers me his to prove a point.

It’s win-win. He gets a break from his concerned family’s prying, and I get a chance to shed my family’s reputation while I save up to ditch this small town.

He says all I have to do is wear his ring, follow his lead, and pretend I can’t keep my hands off of him in public.

But it’s what happens between us in private that blurs all those carefully drawn lines.

It’s what transpires behind closed doors that doesn’t feel like pretending at all.

This engagement was supposed to be for show. This agreement? It has an end date.

He once told me he’d never fall in love.

And yet here I am, head over heels for my fake fiancé.

Chestnut Springs. Book 5

Unlike Beau, the town prince everyone is vying to know, Bailey is the town's pariah because of her criminal father and brothers who wrecked havoc for years. This is why people make it very evident how they disdain Bailey at every turn. Kinda caricature, but what do I know.

Beau does not believe in this.

They meet by chance at a small creek, since Bailey lives in a small trailer (actually pays rent and other stuff to her own brothers who never work) and she goes to the river to swim. This is where Beau finds her. He kinda got a wild idea of fake engagement so that his name would protect Bailey and she can develop and earn money, since she wants to leave this town where everyone hates her. And as for his own goals, although he loves his family dearly he really doesn't want them to continue worrying all the time or walking on eggshells etc.

But the thing is Bailey never actually conflicted with anyone about it and tried to keep things peaceful. But it never helped her in the long run.

She basically agrees because she does need his protection from her own brothers. She needs to earn more, she wants to leave. It's nice to see her not being one-sided. Like she admires Beau, think he's good, but also part of her has a spike when it comes to envy towards him, Beau can land a job easily, while she struggles just because of who she is.

The one thing kinda unhinged about her is how open she is abou sex. She is a virgin since no one would date her out of fear or because of a dare only, but she's a healthy young woman with needs and curiosity. So there's that type of line in their relationship.

But during her stay when she moved from the trailer to the house she figured that Beau has troubles with sleeping and he can't get away from it. This is why he often got really drunk at first at the bar and later he stopped (also connected to her). She can't leave him alone thus they decide to go swim in this sultry summer at night and slowly help Beau cope with it, more like overwrite the memories and what keeps him having nightmares.

They actually bond through many acts of kindness, not only tension.

But the main "problem" was that Beau, as Bailey thought, will stay in this town and she will go outside, so they kinda have no future together. Not to mention she finds out that Beau is the owner of the only place that hired her as a bartender for years. Of course she's hurt. But at least she had finally burst with dissatisfaction towards people and told them all how they treated her like shit for years when she never deserved it.

Beau wouldn't be him if he let the girl he fell in love with go, so he decided he changed his course of life. For Bailey wasn't the only one this town was quite suffocating. Although he promised to help with the ranch after retirement it was so not his, he wanted to do something he wanted, so he decided to become a firefighter. He landed the job in the city so he could be with Bailey. And this is where they moved together.

It was nice to see one person finding the right one who helped them heal and return to normal, while the other person also found themselves, they really worked for each other in the best way possible.

RATE: 3,75/5. It's not a bad rating though, it was a fine conclusion, just in comparison to other books in the series this is the place it takes for me.

[NOVEL] Reckless by Elsie Silver

Backlog #5

In the previous book there was a scene with Winter (Summer's sister) and Theo (Rhett's protege) that hinted the next couple on the agenda. At this point when all books since long been released it is pretty obvious that they are protags of Reckless, but imagine the excitement. I would be excited if I found out, despite the fact that Winter seemed like a total b-word in the first book, such characters intrigued me.

Theo had a bit of head over hills moment with Winter in this small episode. And who knew it was actually the very trigger of their journey.

Theo Silva. Rowdy bull rider. Notorious ladies’ man. Scorching hot trouble wrapped up in a drool-worthy package.

And he’s looking at me like I might be his next meal.

But I’m almost free of my toxic marriage and have sworn off men entirely. So all I see when I look back is temptation served up with a heaping side of heartbreak.

The man is hard to trust—and even harder to resist.

Make that impossible. Because Theo is persistent. And no matter how hard I try to freeze him out, he melts my icy exterior and pulls apart all my defenses.

Over a drink in a small town bar, I blurt out my deepest, darkest secrets. Then I spend the singular hottest night of my life with him.

He worships my body. He makes me blush. I come alive beneath his hands.

Then I tell him to forget it ever happened. I want simple, and with him it all feels complicated.

It was supposed to be a one-time thing.

A secret.

But that little plus sign is going to make this secret impossible to keep.

Chestnut Springs. Book 4

Their parents had a lot of fun calling them Summer and Winter, yeah I was surprised too.

I actually really wanted to find out more about their dynamics and this book kinda leans into it too.

I won't be able to imagine how does it feel to end up in a situation like theirs, that they're half-sisters, one is a result of an affair. But relationships of people are coplex and so it happens that Summer longed for her sister and in a way wanted to protect her (her marriage) by keeping her silence, but Winter too had been keeping her own vengeful mother away from Summer. And even if she was instilled with all type of malicious words her mother had to say about Summer, it never really corrupted her, but deinitely influenced some of her temperament.

Others say that she is a cold-ass queen, but not many know that she is much softer inside.

The revelation of her own husband grooming her own sister before their marriage totally broke this marriage apart. She couldn't be with such a person and forgiving him was out of the question. While dealing with her own shit she travelled to Chestut Springs, one of Eaton house family dinners where she met Theo on the road. This led them to have drinks later on in town and the next thing you know they roll into sheets and have sex.

One-night stand resulting into Winter becoming pregnant. For her it was a blessing, she really wanted children and never got pregnant in marriage. When the revelations happened she lost the baby she was carrying. Partially, even if it sounded cruel, she was glad she lost it, she didn't want to be blood-tied to someone like her ex-husband.

Of course she wanted to keep the child, but she had no idea how to contact Theo, she only figured one way, finding his info in the gym database owned by Summer. But the communication failed (although to a reader it feels obvious the one answering isn't Theo).

We have a time skip and now Winter is a single mom living in Chestnut Springs, she is on maternity leave, her work is transferred into this town.

When one day Theo comes into town. And things change.

Theo is devastated not because he has a daughter, he is too happy to have a daughter, but because he thinks of everything he missed during this time, he realized that the number he left with the gym was actually left with someone in his agency and they did not think it was important to report while he was on a road.

He wanted to be in life of Winter and his daughter and showed with actions his support, love and reliability.

The two had to re-navigate their lives and slowly come together as partners.

It felt so unfortunate that Theo missed so much of his daughter growing up, but now he would never miss her future.

Winter was finally happy with her life. She did not bother with her mother who could even justify her ex-husband. She kinda reconnected with her father. Deepened her relationship with Summer, had new friends surrounding her, had the help of the Eaton family, which really felt like real family. Also Theo's mom has an appearance in this one and she is such a nice lady.

The final conflict I don't think is anything big. More like - again this annoying ex. 

Also Winter decides to be a doctor on the road along with Theo so they could be together.

But by this time I had a feeling Elsie Silver has some sort of jar or just uses a roulette and picks up random stuff from it.

RATE: 4/5. There is something about good young dads.

[NOVEL] Powerless by Elsie Silver

Backlog #4

After finishing the second book in the series I was on  the roll and decided to read the next one.

Two childhood friends. Two broken hearts. One impromptu road trip to get away from everything. That’s all this was supposed to be. Afterall, I’ve been living in the friend zone for years now.

But hockey heartthrob Jasper Gervais isn’t looking at me like a friend anymore. And he isn’t touching me like one either.

To his fans, he’s the handsome, talented athlete on TV. But to me he’s still the lost boy with sad eyes and a heart of gold.

The man I’ve loved in secret for years.

So when my life falls apart on my wedding day, it only makes sense that he’s the one to swoop in and save me. And when his world comes crashing down around him, I’m there to return the favor.

But the more time we spend alone, the more Jasper doesn’t feel like a friend at all. He feels like everything I’ve ever wanted and thought I could never have.

Our feelings aren’t straight forward though. They twist and turn around the pain of his past and the reality of my present.

Jasper Gervais acts like he wants me.

But after years of turning me away, he’s going to need to prove it.

Chestnut Springs. Book 3

It's all spoilers baby.

I'd shortly call it the story of two oblivious and pining. And the pining is loud and clear.

Sloane felt like she was attracted to Jasper since day one when she first saw him. Jasper may not be the part of the Eaton family by blood, but he's like an unofficial official brother.

Jasper treated Sloane really well. Sloane knew that her feelings for Jasper has been going on for years.

But neither of them took a step forward.

Only when Sloane sees a video of her soon-to-be-husband with some stripper during bachelor's party she decided to escape. Everything that led to this day was actually stiffling like a tight collar, but she allowed herself to be brought into this arranged marriage. Even if her fiance did not understand her, did not treat her well etc.

Jasper took Sloane away and they temporarily escaped.

But the devastating news arrive that Beau Eaton is missing in action. And with how Beau was the one who saved him from the streets and became the closest person it was hard on Jasper to cope with it and continue play normally. His coach made the best decision - sending Jasper home, especially after knowing the news Jasper kept away. Big spoiler but Jasper's sister died in an accident and he puts the blame of this accident on himself. His family fell apart after the accident, his mother got into trouble and d* but his father moved away and got new family, leaving Jasper cmpletely alone. So it's the second time he loses someone very importnat to him.

So both of them needed a time off and it's kind of a forced proximity when the two agree to deliver hay miles away and share this ride. Although it felt like they're closer than ever but there are still walls surrounding them.

And only an accident helps Jasper realizes that he spent too much time worrying about the woman he wants but can't have, but does it matter if they can one moment be taken away from each other, why not spend this moment cherishing each other.

Sloane was not impressed at that moment. Her motivation is that she spent so many years loving him and finally decided to take a step away, she almost married another man. The breaking moment was she asked him to the prom and he refused (but priorly agreed? slipped my mind). She was devastated thinking her feelings will never be returned.

But she never knew that his reason was not only because he was afraid, but he was also threatened by her father. And Sloane comes from a very wealthy family, so her dad could easily stiffle his only career he loved and any career he could have had. What is a young man against a giant. She had no idea and was devastated by what her father did. And that was part of the problem. Jasper saw her father for who he was, manipulative and not letting women in his life outside of his control. You could see by the look of Sloane's mom. This is why when she decided to make a closure to the manipulation and break free she told her father off personally, choosing what is right over her prior feelings for her dad and her almost blind belief in him.

Well, now it was better for them, Jasper was after all a popular player and Sloane had her own career as a ballerina. They do come together and she supports him during the rest of the season after the good news that Beau was found.

RATE: 3.5/5. I'm this far with rating because this book made me mostly sad. And at the moment of me reading it I didn't want any angst in my life, I had enough of my own. Jasper I think has it the worst out of all Chestnut Springs male main characters. His fate is so tragic. Even if he is so famous but you know he doesn't like his fame at all. He tries to blend with surroundings at all times. And only loving Sloane and having hope made him more open.

[NOVEL] Heartless by Elsie Silver

Welcome to Backlog #3.

By this point I had no idea that I will end up reading the entire series book after book. And in the end I will find that somehow because of Willa being kinda unhinged as a character I will like this book the most? Each book is quite different tbh. But after reading it all I could finally understand why people like it. It's easy, it's fast and it's quite okay.

(chose this cover among others, since it's neutral and I like it more)

Working as a nanny for the world’s grumpiest single dad should have been simple. Except I can’t keep my eyes off him. And he can’t keep his hands off of me.

Cade Eaton is thirteen years older than I am and barely looks my way. Until I get him into the hot tub one night for a game of truth or dare. Then all bets are off—and so are our clothes.

He’s gruff, a little rough around the edges. But broad-shouldered ranchers with calloused hands and filthy mouths are this city girl’s kryptonite. So who am I to resist?

But it’s in our quiet moments together that he softens. It’s when he takes care of me that I realize his hardened exterior is just a façade. It’s when I watch him go all sweet with his little boy that I really fall for him.

Someone convinced him once that his best wasn’t good enough. But I’ve never felt more cherished than I do in his arms.

My contract may say this arrangement is only for two months.

But my heart says this is forever.

Chestnut Springs. Book 2

I mean what a fateful encounter. Cade and Willa meet by accident, not to mention that Willa loses her panties and Cade had to keep them.

Willa is Summer's friend from the first book and Cade is Rhett's older brother.

Cade is a single dad who takes care of the ranch, while all other Eaton boys are away, but he also has a son from the first marriage, nice boy Luke. But it is hard to find a nanny in this small town because a lot of people see him as a golden bachelor, despite having a kid. And Cade is not interested in women who are eyeing this position just to get to him.

Summer knows that Willa has a window of few months when she has nothing to do, the bar she works at is going through renovations and she jumps at the idea of being a nanny for few months. She instantly loves Luke and Luke also likes the lively and beaming Willa. Despite having a famous dad and a sex therapist mom, Willa did not grow up entitled or spoilt. But she also does not know what to do with her life, this is why she easily comes and goes. The nany job felt okay. Even if they did not agree with Cade at first (the panty situation too), she still stayed.

But the thing is you could feel that Cade noticed Willa at once. Knowing that she is now his nanny it was beyond his power to make a move.

Willa found Cade grumpy and disagreebale, but she knows best to look behinde that facade, especially when she sees how he treats his kid or how he took care of her when she got sick. She is attracted to this handsome man.

Willa may be loud and unhinged, but she is truly loyal and protective of people she likes. This especially comes to Luke.

What I liked about the two of them is that they were quite opened about starting liking each other and wanting to be together, it wasn't anything like dancing around and not being able to be honest with each other, and so they did even before the sudden pregnancy hits the deal. I did nto expect that. I just remember this book as the least problematic in terms of conflicts and stuff like that. They don't have too much of personal baggage, so they could easily proceed to the next step.

Note: I think for this series it is important to read all the books. Because of the information shared and also some of the cross overs between timelines. It's a nice touch.

RATE: 4,5/5.

[NOVEL] Deep End by Ali Hazelwood

Welcome to Backlog #2.

This is my very first Ali Hazelwood book ever. I heard a lot about her where people either rave or not.

I was hoping for a quick read and a good distraction and it did not bother me that the book promised to have kinks.

Spoilers: this part was quite mild. I mean after I read other books, this book was quite tame and other books did not explore kinks at all. I wasn't mad, but I heard other people were mad since they expected...I wonder what type of debauchery they expected though.

(love the color scheme)

Scarlett Vandermeer is swimming upstream. A Junior at Stanford and a student-athlete who specializes in platform diving, Scarlett prefers to keep her head down, concentrating on getting into med school and on recovering from the injury that almost ended her career. She has no time for relationships—at least, that’s what she tells herself.

Swim captain, world champion, all-around aquatics golden boy, Lukas Blomqvist thrives on discipline. It’s how he wins gold medals and breaks records: complete focus, with every stroke. On the surface, Lukas and Scarlett have nothing in common. Until a well-guarded secret slips out, and everything changes.

So they start an arrangement. And as the pressure leading to the Olympics heats up, so does their relationship. It was supposed to be just a temporary, mutually satisfying fling. But when staying away from Lukas becomes impossible, Scarlett realizes that her heart might be treading into dangerous water...

So yeah, either hit or miss this one for many too.

My main issue with this novel must have been that it wanted to be many things at once. Like we had an extensive professional line, which involved Scarlett trying to recover from her inability to make the same jump that landed her the injury in the first place. We also have a relationship line, which does not start at once. We also try to explore some sexual things, although they end up being underwhelming to many viewers and they still search for what was promised. We try to see more of other characters and the development of friendship, which many find not it.

I think I was sitting and thinking after reading that all lines tried to thread through shallow waters.

But was it bad? I personally quite liked it, I don't know why the chemistry between Scarlett and Lukas clicked for me. Scarlett surely has her own issues, but she's too corked up. Maybe I saw something in her and this is why I cans ay this, while I could understand that if her behavior is too alien for you, then of course you will feel distant or something else. Pretty usual thing for any book, not everyone is relatable. Some said she is insufferable, but when I read about Pen, that girl had issues for me.

So how did we end up here? Scarlett accidentally knows that Pen and Lukas broke up. The two did not announce it for a reason (though it sounds silly and a bit selfish tbh. Lukas gets nothing from but Pen is still the official gf of a champion, much envied by others). Partially it didn't matter at that point. It felt like Pen wanted to have fun with other people outside her dependant relationship (which we learn about later), but also felt like she is leaving some exit behind? Anyway Lukas did not care at that point.

But it was Pen who actually took it upon herself to share the preferences of Lukas with other people (Scarlett) and Scarlett also explained about her own preferences. So once a drunk Pen had no better idea than to put two people together just because they like what they like... like girl for real? Not to mention sharing personal info with not a close person, but now this.

At this point in time Pen and Scarlett did not develop some sort of "friendship". But it is easy to stay close since their team of female divers felt so small.

Lukas actually sent Scarlett an inviting message, like if you decided to do it, I'm open to it, if you do not feel ike it, then we won't do it and live our lives.

Scarlett eventually decided to go for it and before doing anything the two sat down with almost a questionnaire to figure out what they like. Actually when it comes to stuff like that it is quite importnat to figue things out. Pretty responsible even if they were an average couple, just so they could get the best of their intimate life.

Their chemistry is so great because they have similar preferences. They did not involve feelings into this at first. But you couldn't say Lukas was completely an unfeeling dude. On the contrary it felt like they fulfilled each others needs but also with care?

Lukas felt like that type of efficient dude, very straightforward, perceptive. I think he suited Scarlett pretty well, since she felt kinda in a mess and his direction lead her in the way that helped her deal with her own stuff.

But the final coflict felt kinda meh tbh. A bit all over the place?

Spoilers but Scarlett and Lukas were together and developed feelings for each other, but Lukas never  publicly brought up the fact he broke up with Pen (though how no one notice I have no idea and why he never did it..). Pen had a bit of selfish ownership thoughts about Lukas too. Like she had her own fun, but when things did not go well she thought she might return to Lukas, but boy was gone. Then the two were busted as if they cheated on Pen, one was her bf and another was her friend. Scarlett shut down and basically left, before the truth was revealed. She travels to Lukas and agrees to be together.

There are other bits and pieces that were kinda all over the place.

RATEL 4/5. I already explained that I'm giving it more because I clicked with the book and got what I wanted from it.