[MOVIE] How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

On the outskirts of Whoville lives a green, revenge-seeking Grinch who plans to ruin Christmas for all of the citizens of the town.

It's interesting that for the New Year time it's the best to watch the old comedies or watch some old Christmas movies (though should not be even the same thing with NY conceptually).

I'm not sure I ever watched "How the Grinch stole Christmas", but I won't stress on that. It's sill a delight. Such a simple story and how ironic that maybe only a little girl Cindy Lou understands what Christmas is all about.

Jim Carrey can not be anything but brilliant. He is never afraid of those elaborate costumes and not-so-good characters. Like who can replace him?

Ngl I was having a blast with how they created this absolutely non-existent town and still left it with cartoonish style that could have easily be a thing of those years (and probably no one will risk it today?). It's fun, it's colorful. I'm sure the costume designers were having so much fun.

And I had my fun too.

This should be included in the category of movies you should watch at least once during this time (or multiple times if it's one of your favorites).

[NOVEL] A Good Girl's Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson

Everyone in Little Kilton knows the story.

Pretty and popular high school senior Andie Bell was murdered by her boyfriend, Sal Singh, who then killed himself. It was all anyone could talk about. And five years later, Pip sees how the tragedy still haunts her town.

But she can't shake the feeling that there was more to what happened that day. She knew Sal when she was a child, and he was always so kind to her. How could he possibly have been a killer?

Now a senior herself, Pip decides to reexamine the closed case for her final project, at first just to cast doubt on the original investigation. But soon she discovers a trail of dark secrets that might actually prove Sal innocent . . . and the line between past and present begins to blur. Someone in Little Kilton doesn't want Pip digging around for answers, and now her own life might be in danger.

A Good Girl's Guide to Murder series. Book 1

This was lovely. For a YA mystery book it was indeed quite lovely. I suppose I read the UK version? And also, I may be old for these book in age, but I never mind, sometimes reading about teens doing stuff is refreshing memories of how much of dumb shit can be dug from our own past. Just not as bad. in general I enjoyed the storyline, especially the pacing and the placement of all ups and downs so you're kept in that state of confusion (if you're not part of the brainy type).

Pip decided on her EPQ project theme to be the disappearance of the Andie Bell. With undeniable proof of Sal Singh's guilt that was found by the police the case was closed and the Singh family is now branded as a family of a murderer. But something always bothered Pip as a person who knew Sal personally, she just couldn't believe that such a kind young man was capable of doing what he's been charged with. Sal can't even defend himself because his body was found and he committed suicide out of guilt.

I'm not a person who likes to guess 'who did it'. If some ideas come into my head I may follow them, but otherwise I just like the feeling of a bit of a surprise coming. The only thing I thought about while reading - they couldn't be most obvious ones for sure (and I didn't guess exactly who, but certainly the category of not the obvious ones?). Holly Jackson managed to pace the book in such a way, so your conviction will constanty follow and change along with the main character. And because it's a YA, it may not be as dangerous as you think. Maybe a little bit.

This is how we follow Pippa on her journey to find out the truth. We see a lot of intricate relationships that keep getting interconnected and no one is as simple as they seem. Starting from Andie herself.

I saw comments that said stuff like - why people simply answered the girl's questions, but honestly why would they not? Sometimes strangers start to use you as a confession room and you surprised about this.. In many cases she reported who she was and what she's doing, but also I felt like there is a bit of disregard in people's attitude towards what Pippa did, "what can a young girl do?" that type of vibe. And another one is that how she was able to uncover what police was unable to... em, here I might argue. Real life is not a TV show with some genius detective that solves the crimes at count three, a lot of perpetrators are quite dumb when they commit something, so it's easy to investigate, but at other times police will follow the obvious path instead of theorizing. After all it's a missing person case, all evidence was against Sal Singh, what did they have to do? And yeah if they had some big head, which was the main character it might have been the case, but it's a YA mystery and our main girl is a teen "detective". Not comparing, but Nancy Drew somehow became the popular.. what was the word, sleuth? yeah, that's it.

Also what Pip asked and what she found are not grounbreaking things, it's just that there was no need to investigate further. While her agenda was different from everyone involved and for whom this case should better have stayed closed.

Not going to put any spoilers here, because books like these need their own reader to dig for the truth.

RATE: 4,75/5.

[Chinese BG novel] 弄蔷薇 by 芒厘 / Rose

Summary: Shu Qingwan and Rong Yin dated for years, but  she was always aware of the gap between them, even if she is now a successful person, but he is still her boss, their relationship is still very secret.

And then they heard the news that Tan Wei with whom Rong Yin had a prior relationship returned to China, there are also rumors that she is Rong Yin's White Moonlight. Rong Yin sneered but did not explain. Shortly after the two companies proposed cooperation between Rong and Tan families, but with it it feels that to solidify cooperation a marriage is inevitable.

Although Rong Yin asked Qingwan to wait for him, but she already settled in her own heart.

Now. I didn't finish it, but I wanted to rant.

First of all this novel has quite a pretentious style as I call it, because even if it included such tropey stuff like mixed babies in the plot, it tries to be more literary and beautified and also angsty. It is quite mulling and actually repeats same things over and over at times. Like I'm only at ch 17, instead I should say I'm already at ch 17 and I feel like we did not progress much at all.

The one who is beautified every few sentences is Shu Qingwan as a FMC.

My rant starts from here. First of all, if you're pretentious and want to sound more logical and real, then start switching on your brain.

In several years of their relationship both Rong Yin and Shu Qingwan lived in a close proximity, a man who has no activity that would remotely hint that he has someone else in his heart would have been picked up long time ago.

This is why I find stupid that when Qingwan heard the rumors, she did not analyze the behavior of her partner, but believed in rumors wholeheartedly, like wtf?

Secondly, I instantly didn't like that this novel has mixed babies scenarios.

Qingwan almost always broods on the fact that there is such a huge social gap between them, but instead of making it a true Cinderella story, with resilient FMC etc. we have a mixed babies scenario, that she's not some poor and unloved girl that comes from a patriarchial family, but actually her parents should be wealthy and if one day there will be a question about her, even the Rong family can't say a thing. I mean maybe a Cinderella story is a bit old, but why not make a strong female character? Everything I hear about Qingwan is her beauty and nothing more. She is such a flat character actually. This is such an irritating part of the novel world, like all about her is her beauty. What I also didn't like is that here I have no diea what she's doing, she never mentioned any aspirations, there is no backstory, but when they break up she suddenly digs out aspirations. Reminds me a lot of that novel with almost the same premise where the ML is the boss and FMC is subordinate, but then she decided to quit to continue her aspiration - singing. That was a wild jump for me tbh.

But back to the topic, Qingwan lived like that for 25 years and the parents are not rushing to recognize her. The situation of the Lin family (biological parents) is kinda... well how to explain it.

Mrs Lin once saw Qingwan by accident and she heard a comment that both look alike, inadvertantly she finds out that this young woman was born same day, same year and same place as her daughter. She already knows that her own daughter is not her biological child. They had investigated it, but she did not touch the report... like bravo, mom of the year. She cares for the daughter she raised, but couldn't help but approach Qingwan too.

Eventually Qingwan who heard the big secret about non-biological daughter, put two and two together and had her own guess, but no one said a word, tacitly not admitting to it, eventually she hinted not to approach her too.

At first Mrs Lin thought that if Qingwan lived well she will stop, after all all children are adults now and have their own life (it's her own logic), but Qingwan actually is not that happy go lucky.

It's glaringly obvious that if she's contacted by her family it is all about her younger brother, but they never cared if she has enough for rent, food etc. She lived by herself for so long. If it wasn't for Rong Yin maybe things would be different.

She met him early and eventually they developed a relationship. He sometimes says that "he grew her like a flower"... leaving me a bit speechless. He supported her in career and escorted her to success. There is no way there are no feelings. He is mature and a bit cold-looking. But men don't say much in general, giving simple instructions - wait for me. He actually meant it, but she made up her mind on that too.

For a reader of course he feels a bit like a scumbag, author did provide a bit of the hint to support the opposite, but will it stop Qingwan from leaving? Of course not. Like any chase to crematorium it will be definitely like that. We need to paint the man like that so the girl will be chased later. But actually Ring Yin did not give her the secure feeling she wanted. I mean, not all know how to do it. But with her family background and their relationship not going anywhere, of course she had a lot of ideas.

PS: What I dislike in these novels is the obvious blank space when it comes to business. because I hate when people can't even pretend to make up something, give a certain direction. They usually call it business. Believe me, it's ch 17 where I decided to write this rant and all I heard is that she's a project manager, they worked on a "project", she got it, now they released a "product" and it is so irritating, like what product? Cosmetics, perfume, jewellery? What do they do? Annoying.

I might continue reading if I won't dnf it.

Lately I've skipped several novels in similar fashion, before I re-read a novel to clean my palette, but now I'm thinking about switching to another book...

[AMBIENCE] by Lost Sounds

 

[NOVEL] Emily Wilde’s Map of the Otherlands by Heather Fawcett

Emily Wilde is a genius scholar of faerie folklore who just wrote the world’s first comprehensive encyclopaedia of faeries. She’s learned many of the secrets of the Hidden Ones on her adventures . . . and also from her fellow scholar and former rival Wendell Bambleby.

Because Bambleby is more than infuriatingly charming. He’s an exiled faerie king on the run from his murderous stepmother and in search of a door back to his realm. And despite Emily’s feelings for Bambleby, she’s not ready to accept his proposal of marriage: Loving one of the Fair Folk comes with secrets and dangers.

She also has a new project to focus on: a map of the realms of faerie. While she is preparing her research, Bambleby lands her in trouble yet again, when assassins sent by his stepmother invade Cambridge. Now Bambleby and Emily are on another adventure, this time to the picturesque Austrian Alps, where Emily believes they may find the door to Bambleby’s realm and the key to freeing him from his family’s dark plans.

But with new relationships for the prickly Emily to navigate and dangerous Folk lurking in every forest and hollow, Emily must unravel the mysterious workings of faerie doors and of her own heart.

Emily Wilde series. Book 2

A solid continuation to the first book.

It has a "cozy mystery" tag and indeed it is. Although there are some places to feel the thrill, but in general it's a comfortable read with no high stakes.

Maybe because of its format of journalling that allows you to treat any potential threat with calm, after all the journal entry comes after the fact and is just a retelling of the events, so before any thrill will come we know that everything was resolved here and now.

What I want to point out is that comparable to the first book I liked how author tied all the characters and items together. If there is a ribboned man in the beginning of a story, it will make sense later. If Wendell's cat is mentioned again, it will also mean something. Although these are simple details, but I liked them working together like that.

As for the characters. I still stand by the things I said about Emily under the previous book.

At least I read it like that between the lines where her inability to make a small talk prevails, I see it as her personal indifference, like she sees no point in it thus making no progress. She's all about her research after all. The edges of this trait of hers are smoothed at the mention of her personal feelings about this.

It's not the worst of her, doesn't make her bad, but sometimes she gives a feeling of being self-absorbed. Although it's undeniable that she's great at what she does.

Wendell is still Wendell, although he was a bit marginal in this one.

We have an additiona of Ariadne, who is Emily's biological niece.

And Farris Rose, who should serve as a counterweight to Emily herself. But Rose is a bit of a reason that Emily sometimes loses.

So it was good for what it is, a cozy mystery.

RATE; 4,25/5.

[NOVEL] Flawless by Elsie Silver

The rules were simple . . .

Keep my hands off his daughter and stay out of trouble.

But now I’m stuck with her . . . And there’s only one bed . . .
Oh well, rules are made -- to be broken . . . aren't they?

I’m the face of professional bull riding -- the golden boy.
Or at least I was, until it all blew up in my face.
Now my agent says I have to clean up my image, so I’m stuck with his ball-busting daughter for the rest of the season as my “full-time supervision.”

But I don’t need a goddamn babysitter --
especially one with skin-tight jeans, a sexy smirk,
and a mouth she can’t stop running.

A mouth I just can’t stop thinking about . . .

Because Summer isn’t just another conquest.
She sees the man behind the mask, and she doesn’t run --
she pulls me closer, even when she shouldn’t.

She says this means nothing -- but I say this means everything.

She says there are boundaries we shouldn’t cross.
That my reputation can’t take any more hits -- and neither can her damaged heart.

I say I’m going to steal it anyway.

Chestnut Springs series. Book 1

We're judging this on the scale of contemporary small town romances.

The introduction to this book is way more dramatic than the book itself. I'm honestly happy that I haven't read it before starting the book itself.

I'm very happy for all the people who actually got the chance to be published and became a TikTok sensation in a sense, but it always flies above my head and means nothing to me, having my own scale of judgement I tend to be that grumpy person who has something to say.

A quick note: I don't like 1st person point of view, never liked and never will, to get it out of the way.

Let's start from all the good stuff. The overall impression I have is quite neutral. It was quite lovely, with its' own perks.

Admitting that the first fraction of the book fell a bit flat on me, not because the situation felt ridiculous that Rhett was basically sacked just for his comment, but from another point of view it can happen, and the way it was blown out of proportion is a sad truth too. Thus I had a bit of time with no ups and downs waiting for two people to come to terms together and start finding things about themselves. The relationships were nice, the obvious banter and love.

And then things started to get uncovered bit by bit. We start to get a bit of the inside soup of Summer's background and her relationship with her family. We also get a glimpse of her first relationship ever and how it influenced her all together. Then we have her relationship with Rhett and how she finally opened up.

But I must say, although it came as several surprises when we get to know more about her, but I always felt like it was not enough? Or maybe the book didn't want to be too dramatic, thus her relationship with half-sister, her first relationship etc. did not get much of development. Like here's the info, you decide how to deal with it. I noticed that I basically sat and analyzed some stuff myself without much confirmation. Again it's the first person point of view fault in many of such cases. because a person may misinterpret what other people feel, basically it happened here too.

Anyways, to me it was nothing dramatic and I don't think it's a bad thing in the first place.

I could feel for her for loving her dad and wanting to be of help, she has a lovely friend and I love how she admits she doesn't need many, while Willa is good to be one and only great friend, I could feel her striving to do best and finding out that the man in front of her bears much more than just a bull rider icon and her teenage crush. Maybe not realizing she came to care so much about him that there was no turning back.

From a female point of view it's nice to see a man so smitten by a woman. Maybe some will find it vulgar that not so far into the introduction, but Rhett Eaton already pictures Summer Hamilton in a more provocative surroundings. Yet what woman wouldn't want to be desirable and see an affirmation of those things. This is why despite the saucy scenes that follow it's apparent that Rhett basically adores Summer. Physically and emotionally. He can think of a lot of vulgar stuff in his head and can also say some too. But does it mean he doesn't respect his girl? It's their relationship that helped both to get better.

But loved the ending, it felt quite organic to end like that, simple and nice.

Again, it's not a bad thing to be nice and easy and not scratch a bloody wound. It's really fitting for people who want something easy and saucy (I don't know why I don't use 'spicy', I don't feel for the word)

RATE: 3,75/5. I wish it would have scratched a bit deeper than the surface level. Liked the second part of the book.

[Chinese BG novel] 穿成反派的豪门前妻 by 暗香漂浮 / Transmigrating as an ex-wife of a wealthy villain

After reading I realized that I'm reading it for the second time. This is why bookmarks of read novels or reviews or mentions are important. Funnily, when I finished and I forgot to post about it a lot of the content slipped through my mind, but I'll try to recall what it was all about.

Summary: Xia Qi who struggled in the apocalypse travelled into a book, she became the wife of the ultimate villain boss of this novel. Her ending wasn't great, as described she was thrown out with nothing, villain was indifferent to her, her mother-in-law hated her, her own family values boys over girls and she's basically no one and has nothing.

But looking at the grand mansion and driving a posh car, she also still posesses her dual-powers of water and wood to nourish her beauty, what else one could wish for?

She patted er husband on the shoulder and promised: We'll be good brothers from now on.

The funny part is that it is indeed a divorce and chasing your wife under the guise of being good buddies.

ML of this book - Wei Xiuran - is our ex-husband, but unlike the common situation they had a really good relationship after the divorce and connected together a lot. Also Wei Xiuran started to feel not only connected but attracted to his ex-wife. They appeared together on multiple occasions and visibly had a great relationship. Before they finally came together as Xia Qi actually saw Wei Xiuran as a great man who is always there for her, at the beginning of the story she just regretted he was too aloof for the marriage, before he was not.

The story has some humorous side to it and indeed is light-hearted.

Not to be treated badly Xia Qi gets a good chunk of property when she gets a divorce and becomes a wealthy young woman. In the eyes of others she might be ridiculous, but she drives around in expensive car, has a huge mansion and is a beauty, what's there to be sad about? So she converts an image of a divorced woman in the eyes of others. Having a bit of a slap face moment, making other people envious of her.

The only thing to be picked out is that sometimes people get a change of heart too fast, like her younger brother isn't a bad young man, but he used to the atmosphere of his family which preffered boys over girls, but his love interest as well as how his sister (new Xia Qi) started to treat him, gave him a wake up call. But his change was so fast, as if he was switched. Yet he is actually a good young man that comes to like his sister, who is the first person to really educate him and not indulge him in the wrongdoings.

It's a short, light-hearted story from 2019. 

RATE: 3,5/5. This could have easily been in short reviews, but what can I say, not much to say about it except what was mentioned above. A fitting sotry for evenin, if you're into these type of themes.

[Chinese BL novel] 真少爷摆烂后成万人迷了[重生] by 日光融融 / The true young master becomes a popular figure after rebirth*

*mtl'd title, which I basically corrected to fit the content.

Summary: Wei Tinglan is reborn to seven years prior. He is still a young high schooler, who returned to the home of his biological parents and family for a year, but this road was not smooth. His tough life under the cruel fist of his uncle, living a poor life and depending on good will of neighbors, Wei Tinglan clawed his way up when he finally grew up strong enough to resist. For others he has a poor background, but he fought for his way to study and also not being exploited by his uncle's family. All before he found out that he was not the biological child of the Wei family. But his biological parents did not show any great joy in welcoming the new son that grew up outside. Poor boy in their eyes was not presentable, they did not even bother to find out what kind of life their son led.

Years of struggle to be admitted, to be loved were met with indifference. Because he had no real value he was left behind. But when he started filming and his life became better and he was on the verge of being free, he was pulled down again by the scheming family and the fake young master Tao Chen.

Now when he is back to high school We Tinglan does not bother to integrate with the Tao family. They don't care about him and he doesn't care about them.

But this life still brought him the greatest surprise in the face of Wei Chuan. A silent handsome man, sitting in the wheelchair and ruling the low-key, but extremely wealthy Wei family.

He became the closest person.

Note: Both are Wei, but different character in the original.

I want to start from the best thing to me, one thing that I found most impressive? That is in rebirth MC can change their attitutde towards people who might have hurt him in the past, because they distinguish between past and present and know that the past harm has not happened yet. Mostly when we talk rebirth novels people bring a lot of hate and resentment from the previous life and eventually they start their revenge off the bat. Some characters do deserve some sort of "revenge", like a prime example is the Tao family. Tinglan knows that his father is a selfish person, for entire year Tao Chen was supported more because of value, while Tinglan brought unrest to the family. Even if things changed and the attitude may change, but not much, it is deeply interwoven with interests for Tao father. Unlike Tao family or Tao Chen there are two characters who might have brought hurt to Tinglan, but they are not inherently bad. He Qinglin and Jing Sheng.

He Qinglin was Tinglan's obsession, since they were promised to each other and Tinglan wanted to be recognized so much. Jing Sheng was Qinglin's friend, but he also was acting like a little boy, tugging on Tinglan to make him pay attention, but all he got was misunderstanding of his character.

In this life Tinglan saw them still being teenagers and even if he tried to stay away, but eventually they became friends and Tinglan decided not to judge a person who has no clue for things they didn't do or for the past life.

The story is simple, not bad at all, even if it has quite old tropes and things we've seen before. Some of the episodic moments remind me other stories about fake/true young masters. Because usually it's always high school time, there is some sort of friction or attempts to discredit one another, competing with grades, fake hooking up with people in attempt to gain benefits or any other stuff.

After rebirth Wei Tinglan is helped by ML to the hospital, Wei Chuan has a soft spot for this young boy who barely holds on and he stretches a helping hand. This basically helps Tinglan to have a breather before he leaves the Tao family and moves to the dormitories and starts a peaceful life that is full of more confidence and knowledge.

His connection with Wei Chuan starts from the hospital, from simple visits of thanks to deep friendship and care. Eventually Wei Chuan admits Tinglan as his own little brother and takes good care of him and his health, which let's admit was pretty bad considering his growing environment.

Parallel to that Tinglan deals with the school life which gets better and two people who were his deep scars in the past life. Although it sounds dramatic, but He Qinglin was hi target of pursuit, yet it also brought him a lot of trouble, like Qinglin's mother or Tao Chen who aimed to become a couple with Qinglin. Another person is Jing Sheng, who became a prominent figure, but had no idea about his deep feelings for Tinglan and instead spoiled all the possibility of them getting closer. Overcoming the hurdle i his heart Tinglan saw good in the young men and became friends with them. Distinguishing past and present was essential.

The first part of the novel, up to ch 50+ is more dynamic. But I must say that from ch60+ and till the end it felt like the brotherly love got dragged quite a bit and this is the reason for me shaving stars.

There was so much emphasis on brotherly love, being relatives etc. And I'm not a fan when people consider themselves family end up together. But eventually Wei Chuan notices first that he has improper thoughts about Tinglan, but he does not make a move and although he has a small struggle how to act around Tinglan, he simply gives up and returns to square one. Tinglan was slower in this regard, maybe there were signs of his love being love actually, because they were quite close and he did not want to claim it as love, simply because he was scared of love. But eventually he took the step closer when both inadvertantly realized they have more feelings for each other. But again because they had so much of brotherly love for so long and Tinglan was young, so I had a premonition that there will be time skips at the end and I was right, there are.

The almost disappointing part became the ending. More like last 20 chapters or so that dragged the emotional line between Wei Tinglan and Wei Chuan, it just felt like it takes too long.

There is another one. It's all spoilers, but the novel took a cliche direction when all participants started to get the past life experience one after another. I wanted it not to ruin the novel and previous relatiosnhip, but the ending was thankfully satisfactory. He Qinglin was the first one. He had deep regrets towards Wei Tinglan, he wanted to atone and love him, but knew that his family situation did not allow him that, he worked to get the position in the He family, since his situation is more complicated. His mother plotted a lot against Tinglan under influence of Tao Chen, he regretted that he had given his loved ones so much freedom to destroy a life.

Jing Sheng was much later case, because of an accident. But he had the most intense reaction because he decided to kidnap Tinglan at the very end. I thought this part we could do without and thankfully Tinglan was sain enough to enlighted Jing Sheng for him to think thoroughly about their situation, that there is no love, he is already with Wei Chuan, it will lead to tragic ending, while he had family etc. Thus they could have such a peaceful conclusion to it and there is no astonoshing revenge plot.

Last one was Tao Chen, insignificant part, served only to let Wei Chuan know and investigate it. Now he knew that both men chasing Tinglan hurt him and were not worth it.

Of course this also estranged Qinglin, Sheng and Tinglan, because before they were innocent teens, but now they are older versions of themselves, their past selves who hurt him. He could only wish them the best and make them look at life that even if they feel regret, he hopes they heal and become better. So this was a good part.

Relationship was good. The best part of the novel. It's almost like a found family but also a relationship. It all starts with good will. Wei Chuan sees Tinglan as someone worthy of raising and caring for, the boy is actually good and kind, but is not loved by his family. Wei Chuan starts to care for Tinglan and provides him, accomodating him to the point of becoming brothers, so no one will dare to move him. Eventually the line is crossed when he realizes that he simply fell in love with the boy and he doesn't want others to hurt him. Tinglan admitted that he might have issues, because he doesn't mind a bit of possessive tendencies in Wei Chuan, he was so insecure and lacking in love in previous life, that such intense feelings give him the security he needs.

They found love and care and light in each other that led them to a better place.

RATE: 4/5. COuld be better if the emotional line did nto drag out so much. Otherwise entertaining and quite delicate.

[MOVIE] The Substance (2024)

It's fucking insane, I loved it! This is a short version of the review ahaha

A fading celebrity Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore) takes a black-market drug: a cell-replicating substance that temporarily creates a younger, better version of herself Sue (Margaret Qualley).

TW: body horror,.. lots of it. lots of gore in general. and also gross things.

Before I start I want to praise the acting which was incredible, directing is awesome, operator's work is insane, cinematography is chef's kiss, the sound effects are great (that ringing in the ears though), the music is top, the idea of putting everything almost into your face is perfect for this.

Where do I even begin with this? If one haven't seen it yet, I recommend to do it, it doesn't matter who, female audience will see a lot of what we're struggling with that can't be warpped in just a simple sentense and male audience can see the female rage that women can direct at themselves and understand better what years of "younger, more beautiful" brainwashing did to many of us.

Some may not even consider it a deep topic, but honestly if countless women suffer from body dysmorphia due to brainwahing, I think we can share some thoughts about it. It feels like many women can't accept that they're aging, because for so many years our brains were soaked in these consuming ideas that we can't simply be ourselves, we should be youthful and beautiful and then we are the most perfect existence. But what if our body is not even close to what is considered perfect? What if our face doesn't fit the standard? Can I create a better version of myself that fits? In the meantime it feels like it became scary to get older, it's scary to lose your youth, your peak time, your body starts to change in a direction you don't expect and the insecurity grows stronger. Not to mention older women, young women nowadays who are barely 20 are not afraid of doing plastic surgery, just because it's a trend, just because it's more favorable and the beauty from the IG photo whispers to you to do it (even if you know that the photo was filtered to filth). But you can be the same, right?..

It's also such a hard chase after yourself, something you once were.

I honestly really loved the idea and how it played out. Because it's so true.

Spoilers, here they come.

We start with Elisaeth who is basically fired from her position on the show on her 50th birthday (the producer has symbolic name - Harvey, I mean you couldn't be more direct), she gets a pat on the back and a bouqet of roses, with a symbolic phrase "You were amazing"

Elisabeth's career is over, so on her ways she saw how her billboard ad was torn down and this distraction caused a car accident. Breaking down in the hospital she receives a USB hidden by a male nurse, with words "It changed my life".

Although listening to the content, Elisabeth is set to throw the flash away, but the morning she finds that she not only is replaced but the newspaper also has an ad about the new show's casting (don't ask about the newspaper, it's deliberate) she decided to make the phone call.

This leads to her receiving the package, she travels to a remote place and follows the corridor to a prim and proper room with perfect renovations and several lockers (only two used). Hers is 503

(I love this homage to what will happen next, if you saw the spine on the cover, you will know)

That scene in front of the mirror, ugh, so true, nothing makes you more critical that a fluorescent light above your head that makes you see all the folds and imperfections about your body when you look at yourself naked. I applaud Moore for not being afraid to fully show herself, because the lighting and camera showed everything, the camera this time had no intention to beautify anything, it is how it is, all the folds and sagging (and let's all remind ourself, Moore is 62 as of now). Following instructions she injects the activator from The Substance kit. She thinks she's crazy but then things drastically change, in pain and agony she "births" another self (which came from the back, like a butterfly almost) and now we see Elisabeth / Moore paralized on the floor, but the one who stood is a young and beautiful woman, with amazing body. And she almost instantly starts to enjoy herself, looking from different angles, aren't they all perfect?

But the kit comes with strict instructions:

YOU ACTIVATE only once

YOU STABILIZE every day

YOU SWITCH every seven days without exception

REMEMBER YOU ARE ONE

Interestingly, Sue did not choose any other career or just enjoy life she now has in her new body, as being one she has all the aspirations that Elisabeth has, the glitz. So she auditions for the show and meets Harvey as her new self. She is set to have her own show "Pump it up". Btw the movie is full of close-ups like this:

And when the show is filmed later on, it's a lot of close-ups. The shots are aesthetic and pleasing, almost screaming "Look at this perfection". Sue gets a lot of those to bring a striking contrast to the body of Elisabeth. Because Sue is "perfect" and it boosts her confidence too.

But here's a catch, she has to switch. Note, the first switch is pretty voluntarily.

Switching back Elisabeth sees Sue for the first time, I think you could see looking almost cherishingly. But now there's another problem, since Elisabeth moved behind the scenes she actually has nothing to do. She did not make any goals for herself outside of letting Sue appear. So she spends her time watching TV, the only time she went out was to get the kit re-fill.

When Sue wakes up all young and pretty she can see that the TV is on and that the armchair feels very "used". She almost scoffs at it.

And here is where I find it fantastic in a way, Elisabeth and Sue are one and two people at the same time. But because of this the feeling of separation begins to grow stronger. So the feeling of disgust and rejection will also appear. It's almost like self-loathing, that this is my true self, some old woman, past her best years and I don't want to be like her. But she is you, you are one.

Not to get into trouble, after all there is a body lying around the house, Sue opens up a wall (very handy girl) and creates a safe room. Btw she is interrupter by a neighbors who instantly calms down when he sees Sue in person, all his rage at the noisy neighbor disappears with appearance of the beauty.

Sue drags Elisabeth into the safe room and starts her days. Enjoying the new billboard advertisement with herself that is right in front of the window, a symbolic reminder all day long.

Honestly, you really must be confident to pull what Qualley can do, all those close up during filming of the show. And after filming she comes out to have a good time wearing a tight bodysuit and high heels.

And here is the first time that Sue gets late to switch due to her partying and not wanting to miss sex with a young hot guy. So she drains more stabilizer above the normal dose. Stabilizer is Elisabeth's spine liquid.

When Elisabeth wakes up all she sees are the after party mess, but it's not the only thing - her finger is now aged. (Praising the sfx department, they outdid themselves in this movie).

This old skin is not an illusion, so Elisabeth makes a call, but the answer is - what is taken, can't be returned. Basically, she can't control when the other part of her decides to drain her spine liquid to prolong the number of days outside without switching.

But does Elisabeth decide to stop? She does not. Even knowing the risk she continues. She cleans up the mess and sees the new show on TV with Sue's close-ups. It's such a complicated look. As if deeply inside there is a brewing thought - You exist because of me, your beauty is taken from me, everything you have is mine, but she still can't let go. Unlike Sue, Elisabeth can not stabilize herself and exist longer, so she has to switch no matter what.

Elisabeth again travels for the refill kit, but this time she meets a person, the owner of the other locker, number 207, and she is reminded of the young male nurse, but the old man asked her about still mattering in this life and also if the other half started "eating her"?

And here I think of that fascinating small note that will be shown later on the fridge (screenshot above) - It changed my life - but whose life did it change? It actually changed the younger sef's life, not the original. I love that this part is so tricky.

To prove to herself that she still exists, that she's still there Elisabeth finds a phone number of a man who asked her out, someone from school. So she dresses up and puts on make-up, but before going out she stops and looks at the Sue outside the window, thus after overfixating on herself and how she looks, changes her lipstick, adds gloss, changes again, adds blush, then she's dissatisfied with how her chest looks like in a dress and covers it up, but then when she sees herself again she basically gives up. her date asks if she's late or anything wrong, but Elisabeth just sits there with a feeling of brokenness.

The scene is actually amazing, so much hate is directed at yourself in the mirror, almost paranoid.

Moore totally didn't spare herself.

She turns to food. Which is symbolic to many people turning to food for comfort.

Ngl the food is presented in this movie in such a way that it will make you feel uncomfortable, but that's the catch.

Sue saw a nightmare as if she took a chicken drumstick from her body and woke up to whole chiken eaten by Elisabeth and only the bones left behind.

Sue makes a call and is outraged that she has not enough time as herself, but Elisabeth does nothing, there is so much disgust in those words, as if she matters, but Elisabeth now doesn't. But she can't change the process.

She finds that the studio is not ready, she is afraid being let go aagin, tears in her eyes, as if it's the most that matters, but Harvey says the show had tremendous success and they will get her new time slot and will let her host a New Year's show.

Thus for Sue her career is more important than any balance, she starts to extracting more and more "stabilizer" and promises each time "It's the last day, I promise" and also tells about her progress as a rising star.

The scene with taking the spinal fluid is very body horror trigger warning all over the place, because the injection place starts to get almost like infected. Ah, scary.

But the one who is scared the most is Elisabeth who realized that Sue did not care about her at all and did not change for much longer than the last time. Now half her body is of that of an old woman.

Again, sfx team, props to them and also Moore is not scared to play at all.

But even if she's bitter and angry and sarcastic and is enraged at Sue on TV show who also points at her in a sarcastic way, while answering and even if Elisabeth is asked by the operator if she wants to terminate, Elisabeth does not terminate. She can't terminate, after all that beautiful part of herself exists and she can't let it go. Yet it doesn't mean she is not angry. The TV show interview with Sue makes her so angry that she makes a whole mess of the apartment making the woken up Sue enraged to such extent that she completely disregards the consequences and drains a full load of spinal liquid from Elisabeth. She doesn't want to switch anymore. And thinks she'll be fine.

3 months later she is ready to host the New Year's show, goes to inject the stabilizers but find that her stash is empty, unbothered she enters the safe room which is filled with packages of "food matrix" that are supposed to be for her and Elisabeth, but we do not see the body, yet we see Sue who had not taken any more liquid.

She calls and gets an answer that without switching there will be no regeneration of the spinal liquid, but it's a critical moment for her. But she has no other option but to switch.

And now we see Elisabeth. Boy what a view, they went all out on that bodysuit, it's a bit funny ngl. So Elisabeth is now a deformed hunched old lady. She is now completely ruined.

She makes a decision to finally terminate. But during the process she again sees the new poster outside with the upcoming NY show and half through the process she stops and tries to revive Sue, she is successful, but Sue who saw the half-empty syringe is the most outraged and in the process brutally kills Elisabeth (interestingly Elisabeth doesn't put up a fight, but only defends). Feeling after that something is wrong with her body she stops. We again see the reminder of "You are one".

This is the evening of the New Year show and Sue gets ready, but again hears the ringing in her ears and can barely concentrate, something is definitely wrong with her body. Left alone she sees herself getting worse, almost desintegrating. Afraid she runs back to grab the "activator" (that funny green liquid) in an attempt to make a copy of herself, but activator only for the original and for one use only, what comes out of Sue is a morphed version of some body monster. Elisasue get ready for the evening, they re-arrange the dress, also put the jewellery on, maybe the first time they look in the mirror normally. She cuts out the Elisabeth's face from the big portrait and sticks it on herself, this is me. She goes to the venue and is met by people, as if they don't see her behind that obvious mask and she goes on stage letting others see what she looks like.

The audience is scared and hates her instantly and wants to get rid of her.

TW: Too much of blood lol. But that gush of fake of blood as the responsive violence to audience's hate is something else. I bet they had lots of fun.

FInally Elisasue leaves and falls apart on the street, the last bit of her, Elisabeth's face that was part of the morphed person almost crawls to the thing we saw first in the movie, her star on the walk of fame.

She finally disappears when she reached the moment when she is truly free.

The movie is so grotesque, it's definitely not for those with weak stomachs, but at the same time so vocal about the issues it presents.

It's interesting to see that both parts basically hate each other, despite the fact that they are the same person, but one sees value in the other or more like wants to prolong that life through the other part, while the other part disdains the original for being a drag. It's such a vivid inner conflict and the final freedom.

RATE: 9/10. Shaving one star for the gore, although I know and understand the idea why it was done, but I truly lost my appetite after watching ahahaha

[MOVIE] Dinner in America (2020)

An on-the-lam punk rocker and a young woman obsessed with his band unexpectedly fall in love and go on an epic journey together through America's decaying Midwestern suburbs.

-IMDb

This movie is said to have a surprising fate, with its initial release in 2020 when pandemic was the most rampant, then getting additional screening time and in 2024 because of trending on TikTok of the main theme song "Watermelon" the movie gained another wave of popularity.

Being honest my process of watching was deeply influenced by watching a review by Amanda the Jedi, who promoted this movie from back in 2020 and released a new video, because of the movie getting another screening time.

And I really liked it.

Maybe because it's such a tender and pure story between two individuals who "don't fit", maybe it's the wonderful actor's play. Maybe it's the idea that they fell in love without looking at each other's looks, but truly liked each other as human beings. 

No honestly the actors were amazing. Emily Skeggs as Patty was fantastic, her interpretation as this outcast-ish girl, her behavior and mimics. I think she nailed it. Her image is that of not conventionally attractive young woman, who is bullied by some tracksuit assholes, gets annoyed by her family, but her best part in life is a punk rock group Psyops she follows and sends love letters to their vocalist.

On the other hand is Kyle Gallner, who looks like a live version of musketeer in real life, but his role of Simon is always full of rage and raw emotion and aggression. Some may not like him, but it's the type of person who shows too much and makes you uncomfortable by oppressing you emotionally. But despite questionables sides of his character, he appreciates Patty and lashes out at anyone who humiliates her.

They can be called a weird couple, but there is something so authentic about their relationship that I can't help but call them cute. Despite the premise of the movie and storyline they managed to be more romantic than many romcoms of nowadays. 

Because many girls that are out there are Patty and they also need their own Simon who appreciates them for who they truly are.

I sometimes find myself thinking that actors in small movies like this can be more impressive to me than some big name celebs..

Anyway recommended.

RATE: 8/10. 

[Donghua] Slay The Gods. Season 1

Beats me why YT decided to recommend Chinese animation / donghua, but nevertheless I watched Slay The Gods ep1-15 almost in one seating. And what can I say? The idea behind it is weird, but animation is like an extensive game ad, because the animation models remind me a lot of all the Chinese games, plus this is so action jampacked that it's insane. It feels like I go from one action scene to another without a stop. Plus let's be honest, some of editing and transitions are done beautifully and it looks very cool. Action itself leaves you with no time to think, it's like I live in sfx and slowmo and ignore that some of the story feels coppy, lacks depth and background story. All in all great experience. I decided to check out other ones that are available when I have time + mood.

Storyline: Little Lin Qiye gazing at the night sky suddenly found himself gazing at a mysterious figure that looked back, that was Michael. Small Qiye's became blind, but not blind in a common sense, he actually could see everything through his mental sense, but he did not open his eyes. He lives in Daxia, which is now surrounded by mysterious fog, because of his experience he spent time in a mental institution, but to live a normal life and survive he refused to admit that any mythical creatures exist and bury the secret of seeing them deep down. That he dreams the same dream, knocking on the same door with a sign God's Asylum. Then one evening coming across some dangerous creatures his call was answered and he awakened his power as diety proxy.

I honestly have no idea where the God's aylum idea came from, after all it felt weird that basically MMC has this thing in his head? Anyway, no one see it, it's like inside his consciousness. But he's just a teen and no he finds out that each room has someone with "issues" like the goddess Nyx, then helping her will allow him to get more and more powers. Like why these gods are in asylum number one.

But the rest of the story is okay. We have this mysterious fog and mythical creatures and gods, all except Chinese ones for some reason. We also have an organization of Night Watchers who control the outbreak of monsters. They are people who can use forbidden ruins, more like some cool item that can grant them powers, but not all can have them, only talented ones I guess who awaken this stuff. There is of course a villain organization, a bunch of God Church lunatics that worship three most vile gods there are, they also target Qiye, because he's a diety proxy, which is a step above others. Plus he can help gods and gain their powers, which is even cooler. Very overpowered MMC, but how else he will deal with others.

[SHORT REVIEWS] #17

一心摆烂的恋综女配[快穿] by 虹桃子

(mtl: Female suppoting role in the love variety shows who decided to act badly)

[BG] On-going. Summary: Lin Enjing is captured by the system because she is "capable" and is offered to travel worlds and save the wronged cannon fodders. Because she herself is one, she paved her own way from poverty to being a wife of a wealthy husband, but soon her husband will cheat on her with White Moonlight and she is a hated character. While Lin Enjing herself doesn't mind, husband's company is full of her own people, it's not certain who owns the company. She felt that travelling worlds will help her accumulate the experience, so she agreed.

You could call it a story of a leech. Because this is how I viewed the FMC by the end of the first arc/world. There is a big difference between a cold-hearted person who is cool and a selfish bitch that smooches off others and even applies their achievements to herself. She uses everyone's feelings for her own boost in life and her own satisfaction, highly egoistic personality that proclaims to love freedom, but just has no responsibility except for herself. Even if the author warns you that FMC is a "bad" woman and you need to watch out if you're a moralist, but she has no redeeming qualities to handle the image of this femme fatale.

What is annoying is the portrayal of FMC, there is nothing eye-catching except that probably her farts smell better for all males and even if she turns, moves or breathes is a "moment" and they can't help but notice her. Some people do have a tempting temperament, but honestly the males figured her out that she's a "bad" woman, but they are still tempted by her and can't help but dry like a laundry under the summer sun after her till the end of times. To make her look not as bad by the contrast a lot of love she receives is also interspersed with possessiveness, as if those males are also not perfect. But she's an emotional scum and this is why I don't like such FMC.

The other big problem is the format and style and the writing and the plot...meaning, everything is so-so. Arcs are long, uneventful, but we should be ready to be impressed by FMC doing basic shit. Because every arc is a variety show where FMC tries to change the destiny of original host. It is said she plays "badly" but actually she is reactional in terms of changing her own image and make it better, you can feel that she basically used everything at her disposal to promote her own career. She used men and their knowledge to use it for her own business growth. There is a black technology (another point I want to slap author in the face with words like - you don't know what to write about, then don't write - since it's such a brain-dead utopian description of some things I'm surprised the author decided to touch) that is developed by one of the males, but it was used for her company and even if you know the person might get a kick off of it, it still had a sacrificial feel. She dates one person, then marries another, then can divorce if she doesn't like something. As I said she is a pure egoist, so you won't be able to wait for a compromise from her.

I've read a conclusion of the second arc (honestly they have the same style, almost a summary-type of chapters of what happened after the show) and it is still the same patterns, dates one, marries another, uses men to become first in the world as this and this, but her knowledge come not from her own years of experiments, but from everything she got from men. But she has such a style like she deserves it all, they gave it her and it was fine. Another angle to catch her pure selfishness.

But honestly I couldn't care less about the technology, it was such a sharp twist from her wanting just to create a 3D game and the it progressed so much that they created virtual reality and people transferred their consciousness into it, like (?_?) miss mam, do you have any idea what you talk about? It may sound cool, to a kid, but can you imagine this bs in real life?

Anyway, I was impressed.

Status: DNF with a speed of sound.

我的巨富妈妈[快穿] by 危酒

(mtl: I have a super rich mom)

[BG] Completed. Summary: Zhong Chu as a gold employee of the Quick Transmigration Department is tasked with the savior of some cannon fodders and her role is their "mom".

Another embarrassing garbage. I'd say abomination. I'm so critical because the first arc is unnecessary xenophobic from the get-go. Not to mention that this story is not anything exciting and I found it pretty boring. OP FMC who has a super rich system always has a chance to get rich in each world, she either has a personality that is adjusted by the system that can be tempered with or she gets a lucky chance (like a lottery) so she can become rich in a second. The way they showcase the getting rich process is another topic. It is also brainlesslu Su. Just to make an example. First world starts from a disaster relief. The one she needs to protect is a kid who lost his entire family. She is a heir to some huge wealth with tenths of hospitals abroad and all other stuff at her disposal, she appears like with the scene of great number of helicopters flying. She was abroad? And then she quickly appeared at the disaster place? And they released some black technology of some saving robots, so of course this is where xenophobic part starts, as if the country she came from (no need to play dumb to figure out analogy) is making a fuss during the sacing operation okay? Anyway. All those helicopters flying and saving people, all the personnel is tranformed here and they worked 24/7 and became big saviors. The kid she needs to save become her only "relative". I stopped reading from there, not to mention I was not impressed by xenophobic moods, but also it felt just too stupid.

Status: DNF.

穿成豪门后爸我哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 by 忘书

(mtl: Wearing a rich stepfather hahahahaha)

[BL] Completed. Summary: After waking up Xi Ling figured he's a vicious stepfather in a novel, a cannon fodder character who abused his stepson, while his husband was away and stepson grew into the vicious villain and offed his own stepfather first on the list. But Xi Ling who had been poor saw all the money and thought - how could it is to be rich? I have a cute son, my husband is a walking ATM and I can wake up laughing ahahahaha.

I will say right away, for me it was too much. 

First of all I didn't like the style and portrayal. The storyline often jumped from something serious into some extreme comedy in the span of a sentence, it was awkward to see some serious or should-be-touching moment ending up with something ridiculous. Even their intimacy became a butt of the joke and I don't mention the description is just so meh.

Character portrayal suffered from this too. Like Xi Ling should be silly and positive goose that is always smiling and always optimistic. Sounds good. But this silliness is brought to extreme sometimes. Also the storyline affected character a lot, because author tried to do a salto.

I'm spoiling the entire thing. What I say too much is that Xi Ling believes that he is from another world and this is a book. But then he has dreams he does not remeber of course that vaguely tell him the story of him and ML. The truth is after Xi Ling was born in mountains and was seen by kid ML, they became friends. But ML's family isn't simple and we find out that Xi Ling was trafficked by his own parents after instigation, he had a fever and a hit on the head, this is why he might have forgotten his own parents, new adoptive parents did not treat him well too (basic situation when a kid is brought in but like the next year the couple gives birth to their own son). So Xi Ling escapes when he became an adult and lives in some deserted factory. Where he meets kidnapped ML (what a coincidence), but then he is hit on the head (again). When the story starts he is a poor worker with no education, he again had a hit on the head which "woke him up" and he is baffled how he could be this gambling jerk who is stuck to his sister (so you can guess that he and bad Xi Ling switched places for few years and then Xi Ling returns into his original body). Do you know how the memory finally returned? I will let you guess, it is connected with hitting your head. So it helped Xi Ling remember all his memories of this world. But too much hitting on the head for a single story. Then this is not the end. ML Huo Siyi is supposed to be the child of the Huo family, but there is enmity and he is considered illegitimate, but then we find out that Huo family has some black dealings (I think like growing clones, some black lab) and partially Mrs Huo aquised to it because her own children were weak. And there is a hint that Huo Siyi is the same experimental object, because he has several "defects", for examle like with emotions, but health-wise he faints at the sight of blood (which was made into the joke a lot..). Huo Siyi was targetted by his morbid brother, Xi Ling was trafficked because of his instigation and basically all the blackening and other things happened because of this brother, so the story has such crazy parts.

But do you think it's just that simple crazy, it's not over yet. The child - baby villain- belongs to another family completely, but everyone thinks he belongs to ML before the truth comes out. But this also starts another chain effect, because Xi Ling does not belong to the mountain village family at all, he was trafficked 2 times! His family is a couple Cen who came for baby villain but found Xi Ling who looks like his mother when she was young, they do a test and bam Xi Ling is their biological son, baby villain was crated from the stem cells of their daughter (Xi Ling's biological sister) so now they're not only adoptive family, but biological uncle and nephew. The original protagonist who is now a baby too and took part in a baby show with Xi Ling and baby villain is actually a blood relative too, because his father is Cen coupl younger brother, but this brother is worse than a beast, in original story to consolidate his position he took the child forecefully, allowed his little lover to bully the father of his child (yeah mpreg). But he was also the one who designed the car accident when Xi Ling was a child and was sold off by his subordinate. So there's a lot to unpack, but I think it's really too many twists and turns for one story. Not to mention some baby parts are good and lovely, other parts jump around from serious to jokes and it's tiring to read it like that.

Another annoying part is the internet barrage, boy I hate this stuff in novels, because Xi Ling is fully black at the beginning, everyone is like a rumonmonger without a brain. But Huo Siyi and Xi Ling don't clarify (which felt weird at first but then the explanation arrived later) and rumors became so exaggerated. In the end Xi Ling does change his character and people notice changes and then the opinion about him is subverted. But the next thing you know even his own husband is considered a lover, because everyone only heard rumors with no evidence but they still believed that Huo Siyi is some old dude... I mean even one cell can do better than this.

I just feels it's such a pity, some of this story had potential to be better, but the writing is just that.

Status: skimmed through and threw it away.

相亲当天错选星际最强Alpha后 by 且拂

(mtl: Choosing the strongest Alpha on the blind date by mistake)

[BL] Completed. Summary: Ji Anli lived a prosperous life before a disaster. After he turned 18 his parents disappeared, his uncle seized the power and also his report as Omega was funky. His cousin stepped on him and his fiance turned to his cousin. But then he changed into 3S-level Omega and top leaders attached great importance to Ji Anli, so they decided to get together all the top Alphas on a blind date. But Ji Anli saved someone before coming to blind date, someone who was not included. Both reached agreement, Ji Anli helps deal Lin Jing not to get out of control and in return he got the strongest Alpha.

This deserves the line from a song titled "Bored" by Laufey. "Baby, I'm bored~".

You have no idea, I felt like I'm that image of Tom who tries to stick matches into eyelids to prevent them from closing. This was so unimaginably boring to read that I can't even convey the level. Although it felt like nothing bad is actually happening and you can read it with ease, but I still couldn't help myself from falling asleep from it.

Status: DNF.

Maybe it's wrong to call them all 'evil' but the first two are definitely are, the third is a missed opportunity to me and the last just brings boredom. It feels like there is no new worthy catch came my way for a period of time. Maybe time to switch gears again.