Aug 16, 2024

[Chinese BG novel] 瓜王驾到,内娱战栗! by 清风独挽月 / The King of Melons has arrived!

Summary: Li Shiangshuang woke up and realized that she is a cannon fodder control group in a book. Her trajectory is nothing more but struggle in the entertainment industry, being splashed with dirty water because she does not belong to any studio and be depressed from online abuse and eventually commit suicide. Now she realized that she is simply a cannon fodder and her next variety show will have the female protag of the book, a.k.a Sea King white flower that chooses and picks different male partners to finally end up with a wealthy young master of the Gu family - Shen Xuewei. But bad news aren't without good news, Li Shiangshuang got a golden finger, she can see the memories of people when she touches them, thus she became a King of Melon in the entertainment industry that revealed the deepest secrets of people around her. This allowed her not only gain popularity, but find many things that changed her life.
This novel should be re-written
What a wasted potential. You can clearly feel how shallow it is, almost on the verge of being perfunctory. It is also very short and leaves you with impression of being underdeveloped. It's like it wasn't written by the same author, more like it feels like there is a glimpse of the author, but they went off rails so hard (compared to the novel Green tea is forced to tell the truth). I didn't like most of it, I thought that jokes and other things that were brought up simply lacked style and simply stinked like cheap American comedy with humor below waist, with abundance of shit, ass jokes. It also left a stain on the main characters. If the situation and the backstory of Li Shuangshuang were given more attention and care, her involvement with the plot, the truth behind it, if all other unnecessary things were cut off the plot would be much more compelling and in my opinion, better.
I will explain the plot, so you don't have to read it, then I will explain what was good, at least what I found had potential and what was simply bad in my opinion.

The Plot. Shuangshuang is awakened and doesn't want to become a cannon fodder, although she doesn't want to get involved with the main protags, she is doing variety show with them. Here she finds out that she has a special ability, looking through person's memory when touching them. To be honest, I thought it was a faux pas to make it seem like the more intimate parts she touches the deeper the memories. This was used for jokes that I did not find funny. She meets all the guests and they all have dark secrets. The one she is disgusted about is a rapper who took parts in orgies. Although she has no evidence, but the group had trouble and were sent to hospital, the guy had STDs and he infected the rest of the guests except Shuangshuang. Although this was handled badly, since it was broadcasted and it's such an intimate thing. Next thing this rapper was sacked. The next "victim" was an actor who flirted with others but had three concubines and three children, those women relied on him and didn't make a fuss, because they all knew that the actor was infertile but had money to support them. Sack number two. Here Gu Jingyun joins Shen Xuewei on the variety show, he is original male protag and they act like in an idol drama which is cringe. Domineering CEO my ass. They clashed with Shuangshuang mostly because Xuewei always liked to act like she is bullied white flower. Another guest that was uncovered by her was an actress who believed in superstition and lost her cool during broadcast and was also blacked on the network. Another guy was a male idol they caught while trying to connect with underage fan. Another one arrested. While this was going on Shuangshuang finally connected to some good resources. I want to omit it, but she always used her skill to put people in their place. Sometimes it felt inbalanced (about this later). She won a role over Xuewei, which escalated the conflict between her and Jingyun again. She was being targetted now. Here comes into action some family ethics drama, since this Jingyun isn't an honest guy too. No matter how he tried to throw dirt on her, Shuangshuang managed to be really lucky and her image of not only melong king, but also righteous person who defeats evil became more and more solid.
Meanwhile she met Fu Hengyu (ML) in her early stage and helped him avoid being framed by his own agent. Hengyu always remembered it. But for the next part we mainly see his cousin Lu Xiao in focus, who is also a police officer and investigates criminal cases, she used this connection to convict many bad guys.
Later Hengyu appeared again, but in order to seek help for his senior sister, an actress Kong Chan, who married a wealthy family. The dealt with that situation, parted ways.
She continued to being targetted by Jingyun, then sent him in, he was released but Xuewei's career was over. His father appeared on screen and later we find the truth about Li Shuangshuang's father.
The full story about the Tang family from start to finish. Kong Chan's daughter went missing, she was actually kidnapped by her "aunt" and left in the mountains. For this Shuangshuang was invited and because she had to touch people for receiving memories she spent her time touching people (again jokes like she's a hooligan). Next she went undercover to get to Kong Chan's husband.. here I was baffled by why they decided to include hemorrhoids and that Shuangshuang had to touch someone's butt. Is that funny to someone? It wasn't the first butt joke. She figured Tang Lin had relationship with his nominal cousine, Tang Wen, they were not blood-related but still. They had a son. But because Tang Wen was crazy and wanted all property for her son she not only kidnapped the daughter, but also made Tang Lin sterile. She was instigated by her family, main room who could not inherit simply because her father was infertile. Second Room, Tang Lin's parents, were patriarchial, so the did not care about granddaughter. Later Kong Chan with the help of Shuangshuang found many secrets of the family and divorced successfully. When she returned she was entangled by her ex-husband. Once he wanted to match his daughter with his illegitimate son for bone marrow. But had no idea that his parents went for another baby and were successful and discarded this unwanted son and the sick grandson. Next Tang Lin came back for money, another butt joke, since he shoved the jewelery into you know what hole. But was caught. The next thing they know is that Tang Lin was discarded, got addicted to gambling, in the end kidnapped both parents, threatened them and set them on fire. Afterwards lost all the money and was beaten to death.
Actually if it's wasn't for the butt jokes and too much dirt it could be a more meaningful part of the story. Shuangshuang has a story with Kong Chan, she helped her deal with evil and some of the Kong Chan's decisions were made in consideration of her daughter. Instead of having this shallow feel. But Kong Chan became one of those who were grateful to Shuangshuang.
Another family that was involved with the story and had a lot of screen time was the An and Mu families. Because An Yiling, or Shuangshuang's agent, is from the An family. I wish some of the backstory came sooner, because it felt so abrupt when suddenly we get a backstory after many chapters and get to know the entangled story of this family. I'd say the author went out of their way, I wish they would cut many of the things and leave the best parts to showcase the complicated relationship and how someone could be driven mad.
The full story about An and Mu families. An Yiling is the "true daughter" found when she was ten, but the fake sister never left and stayed as adopted, always targetting Yiling and making her life worse. Her parents did not favor her. because of Shuangshuang's abilities the truth behind the family started to unravel. First of all the adopted daughter had relationship with both son and father, She was caught in action and her engagement with a higher family was cancelled and the family matter were spread instantly. Shuangshuang did it in retaliation that An family wanted to sell Yiling to the Mu family. Mu Kai who acted high and mighty but was actually a gay man who cheated sex. His deeds became known and both families went against each other. Mu Kai also contracted AIDS due to his chaotic life.. I don't know, many gay men were shown unscrupulous and dirty. Mu Kai went as far as seducing his half-brother, infecting him too in retaliation as discarded son. Back to An family, due to the scandal the son and adopted daughter decided to marry, adopted daughter was pregnant but had no idea to whom her baby belonged to. Mrs An went crazy, also tried to please Yiling but nothing really happened, Yiling was too disappointed with her family. Next thing you know is that adopted daughter wanted to frame Yiling and Shuangshuang along for her miscarry during the wedding day, but Shuangshuang uncovered her true face in front of all people. Another chaotic scene and infamy. Mr An actually had another illegitimate child, born to Mrs An's cousine, but he thought beautifully, this son belonged to Mr Mu. Mr An was left with no one, but had his daughter. Brother and adopted sister wanted to please the old guy and you can guess in which way. When Mrs An saw the scene she stabbed her son, he died, chopped her husbands manhood and other places, he survived, ruined adopted daughter's face and other organs, she also survived. Later she was admitted to mental hospital. If this part wasn't so excessive it could have been good, the part about driving someone crazy. Back to the Mu family. Since Mu Kai was not in favor, Mr Mu went to introduce his illegitimate son, but during the banquet Mu Kai confessed about AIDS and how he infected Mu Fei, half-brother. They also reappeared in later parts, how Mu family took back the last healthy boy. But Mu Kai even wanted to ruin the boy. In the end he was stabbed by the angry child's mother. Although survived but not for long, his own father offed him in the hospital. Mrs Mu (Mu Kai's mother) saw this scene and went mad. Mr Mu already was in bad healh with all the shock before, so he did not survive the fight. The family just fell apart like this. Mu's glory since long passed. And now they had no one.
And the last but not least, the secret of the Gu family.
The full story of the Gu family from start to finish. After Jingyun appeared on the show and targetted Shuanshuang, she tried to find ways to detain him for his unscrupulous means. One incident with a guy who was intersex actually made me mad at Shuangshuang, yeah the person in question wanted to harm her, so deal with him accordingly, instead she used the secret to blackmail the person to work as "double agent". This person came into picture once and tipped off that Jingyun dealth with someone. This someone is Xuewei's biological father. Well, this father is nothing more but a small gangster. Why author decided to include that Jingyun had a relationship with him as one-night stand is beyond me. When this father found his daughter, of course he wanted to extort some money, but Xuewei reported it to Jingyun. In the end with this info she sent the two people in, but they went out since the assistant took all the blame, but since they were connected Xuewei's stardom ended. Gu Qian comes into picture, he is Jingyun's father. Although he claims to be sorry, but later he targetted Shuangshuang in another way, wanting to get rid of her. The truth is, Shuangshuang's father was the son of Gu patriarch, Gu Qingyun, was kidnapped, adopted in a family, then left blood-sucking relatives, after getting married had a wonderful life, but unfortunately passed away early. So Shuangshuang is the only descendant. Gu Qian was aiming to become the next head of the Gu family, so he wanted to deal with Shuangshuang. It was her luck that she escaped again and again and later managed to attract the old man's attention. He was so happy to find his blood. He was also the one who sent Gu Qian in for all his black deeds. Throughout the entire novel either Jingyun or Gu Qian used money or influence to stumble Shuangshuang, but failed. Shen Xuewei at least had decency to feel sorry for targetting Shuangshuang, when she realized what things her Jingyun did to climb into position. But again I say that these things were excessive, like sleeping with a nanny (49) was a bit too mcuh and unnecessary.
Portrayal. Shuangshuang starts as this ambitious girl, but sometimes she is quite unlikable. Although there is nothing wrong with her to strive for success, but when it comes to dealing with people and revealing their secrets, some truly deserve condemnation, but sometimes feels like she's going overboard. In general she is righteous when needed and also loves the gossip herself, so she was present at many major events of this novel. I felt bad that she had such a shallow treatment, especially when you find out about her father, her love for him. I felt so sorry that these parts were so shallow. I say it would be good if her power was used to allow her to see the true face of her step-father, how her mother missed her, that they're all good people and look forward to her coming back, and if author took a deeper dive into it these parts would be so much better. Like her love for father is deep, this is why she was so insecure during childhood and was rebellious, but now she sees through power how her mother cares and uncle Shen cares too. It's good that relationship grew better, but felt like it needed more work. In this case I think it could have been meaningful if this power was used not for the butt of the jokes only, but for meaningful things. I really liked the parts where it made sense for her power to be used in the right place. her finding love in her family, finding the truth of original storyline, finding her grandfather.
Romance. This is also questionable and had potential that was not utilized. Like why ML is Fu Hengyu? I asked myself while reading, Shuangshuang for the first part had more chemistry and interactions with Lu Xiao, but because he wasn't special like Hengyu, he was skipped, though they went through many things. Reminded me of that Metaphysics in Hong Kong novel when MC ends up with the police officer she helped to deal with many cases. But Fu Hengyu was special. And I felt so sorry this part wasn't expanded. Like make emphasis that Hengyu like her lived for a second time, he had nightmares in which she saw how they were friends and worked together, despite her hardships, but when she committed suicide he did not believe and found clues about Gu family, but was targetted by Gu Qian and they both became victims (also does not connect with the beginning of the novel, Shuangshuang said in original storyline Hengyu would quit entertainment, but then she says they wroked together (the story plotline is their past life btw)). Hengyu I'd say had worse portrayal, he thought Shuangshuang liked him, even considered her a fan before realized she needed to touch people to get info. But he already liked her (why, beats me). The feelings were really shallow here. And next thing you know Shuangshuang agrees to their relationship, because not only of their past but Hengyu is such a hot commodity, anyway she liked his appearance (-_-) anyway... The relationship felt so unnatural to me. It was so shallow.

But this is how it went. From being unknown, to becoming popular, dealing with people and reaching pinnacle.

I ommitted many instances that made me feel the ick. Like several guests in other shows. One ate unscrupulously, at least she gave the doctor's number, but there was no need to make it so disgusting. Another was also problematic about sex, they made him worked and the dude got better. Another was male idol who wanted to touch Shuangshuang since their boss was attracted to her, but instead embarrassed himself too much and disappeared. A lot of shit and ass jokes and excessive situations or setting I think were not needed. It would have been better if we only concentrated on some milder things, paid more attention to her past, how she grew up, how she figured out her family and the Gu family. There was no need for other exaggerations that felt vulgar and dirty. 
I felt utterly disappointed :( wasted potential sometimes is worse than being plainly bad.

RATE: 1/5.

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